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Feb 27, 2016
02/16
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like they just walk -- we just, like, in this zone where we see them for truth or lies. it's weird. >> that's amazing. >> seth: yeah. we just process it at a totally different level. >> just even while you're eating your omelettes in a diner, you think, "i know he's going to shake my hand, but i can make a decision on behalf of the rest [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, absolutely. the other thing is that -- which it's so great to be in new hampshire, i lived there. my parents are there. i love my parents. >> yeah. >> seth: it's great to be in new hampshire, not now. >> right. >> seth: not this time of year. >> yeah, sure. >> seth: like, if my parents called and said, "we really need you to come home." i'd be like, "i'll wait. i'll come in march." [ laughter ] i'm not coming. >> yeah. >> seth: it's like slush. it's awful. >> yeah. and also, well it's just now, every four years, you don't want to be filling up your car and have governor kasich say, "hey, nice to meet you, friend." >> seth: yeah. >> "please, please don't let me use my matrix-like vision on you, kasich." >> seth:
like they just walk -- we just, like, in this zone where we see them for truth or lies. it's weird. >> that's amazing. >> seth: yeah. we just process it at a totally different level. >> just even while you're eating your omelettes in a diner, you think, "i know he's going to shake my hand, but i can make a decision on behalf of the rest [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, absolutely. the other thing is that -- which it's so great to be in new hampshire, i lived there. my...
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Feb 26, 2016
02/16
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well, maybe a clue lies in bernie's own choice of >> what kind of car do you actually have? >> i have a small chevrolet. it is one of the smallest chevys that they make. [ light laughter ] >> seth: i mean, it's so small, it's not even a car really. it's more of a scooter with doors. that's the chevy equality. but the conservative freak-out about bernie's democratic ititven extends to his appearancece >> as freaky as sanders is on so many levels -- i mean, he's a hardcore socialist, raising taxes to 90%. he's a freak to look at. >> seth: "he's a freak to look at," says the guy who looks like he ate tony danza. [ laughter and applause ] but that wasn't even the silliest reaction to bernie's socialism. there was also bill o'reilly, who knows how to overreact like no one else. >> you know, look, i'm fleeing. if bernie sanders gets elected president, i'm fleeing. >> seth: i hate to break it to you, bill, but if you thk ireland will be an oasis from e bernie sanders socialist nitmare, you're in for a shock because in ireland, "students pay no tuition at irish colleges and universi
well, maybe a clue lies in bernie's own choice of >> what kind of car do you actually have? >> i have a small chevrolet. it is one of the smallest chevys that they make. [ light laughter ] >> seth: i mean, it's so small, it's not even a car really. it's more of a scooter with doors. that's the chevy equality. but the conservative freak-out about bernie's democratic ititven extends to his appearancece >> as freaky as sanders is on so many levels -- i mean, he's a hardcore...
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Feb 23, 2016
02/16
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bush lied to justify the war in iraq. >> they lied. they said there were weapons of mass destruction.& there were none. >> seth: that upset many gop voters, so a few days later trump did a complete 180. >> do you believe he either lied or did not lie? are you willing to say -- >> i don't know what he did. i just know it was a terrible mistake. >> so was it was a mistake for you to say in that debate that you thought he lied? >> i'd have to see the exact word. look, i don't know. i would probably say that something was going on. >> you would not say again that george w. bush lied. >> i don't know. i can't tell you. i'd have to look. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> seth: his hair looks like cotton candy because he's always spinning. [ laughter and applause ] himself. for example, he also claimed he's been against the iraq war in 2003, comparing it to the first gulf war which he said he supported. >> senior bush did the right thing. he knocked the heck out of them and then pulled back, okay. hey didn't get into the quagmire. and that was okay to
bush lied to justify the war in iraq. >> they lied. they said there were weapons of mass destruction.& there were none. >> seth: that upset many gop voters, so a few days later trump did a complete 180. >> do you believe he either lied or did not lie? are you willing to say -- >> i don't know what he did. i just know it was a terrible mistake. >> so was it was a mistake for you to say in that debate that you thought he lied? >> i'd have to see the exact...
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Feb 19, 2016
02/16
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and the simpler things in li. like our drab clothing. that's right, daughter. and homemade haircuts. exactly, boy. besides, if it weren't for wires, how would cousin tobias get his privacy? hey - shut the blanket! i need my privacy! (vo) don't be a settler. get a $100 reward card [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to the show. we're here with carice van houten. and as we were saying carice, you play melisandre, the red woman, on "game of thrones." >> that's correct. >> seth: amazing character but sort of known for her steely, cryptic demeanor. very intense. >> yeah. >> seth: okay, my wife is having a baby soon. and because you are on the show today i couldn't help but wonder like what melisandre would be like at a baby shower. you know? i wonder. >> i wonder. >> seth: i just wonder. >> welcome, everyone, to alexi and seth's baby shower. kick t tngs off is go around the room and everyone share an motherhood. sue, you want to start? >> okay, i really like this one. god could not be everywhere and therefore he created mothers. >> oh! [ light laughter ]
and the simpler things in li. like our drab clothing. that's right, daughter. and homemade haircuts. exactly, boy. besides, if it weren't for wires, how would cousin tobias get his privacy? hey - shut the blanket! i need my privacy! (vo) don't be a settler. get a $100 reward card [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to the show. we're here with carice van houten. and as we were saying carice, you play melisandre, the red woman, on "game of thrones." >> that's...
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Feb 18, 2016
02/16
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and applause ] >> donald trump at a recent campaign rally, that he has never met a human being whose lied as much as ted cruz. then melania said, you tell him handsome. [ light laughter ] yesterday, repeatedly referred to dr. ben carson as obama, though to be fair, it's not like he's been responding to ben. [ applause ] come on. come on out. no, no, you gotta come out. ben! [ laughter ] a cellist, you guys have been waiting for a joke about a cellist, right? [ light laughter ] a cellist in oregon was arrested after police found over 100 pounds of marijuana in his car trunk. thankfully when they pulled him over he didn't resort to violins. [ laughter and applause ] yeah. thank you, thank you. i also thought it was great. [ light laughter ] a prominent exorcist in west africa has claimed that beautful women are more likely to be possessed by evil spirits. well, he's not completely wrong. [ light laughter ] minster kennel club dog show wrapped up last night, and cj, a german short-haired pointer took home best in show. not, as steve harvey announced, beethoven! [ light laughter ] we have a g
and applause ] >> donald trump at a recent campaign rally, that he has never met a human being whose lied as much as ted cruz. then melania said, you tell him handsome. [ light laughter ] yesterday, repeatedly referred to dr. ben carson as obama, though to be fair, it's not like he's been responding to ben. [ applause ] come on. come on out. no, no, you gotta come out. ben! [ laughter ] a cellist, you guys have been waiting for a joke about a cellist, right? [ light laughter ] a cellist...
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Feb 17, 2016
02/16
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president bush and his team of purposely lying the cocotry into war in iraq, saying, "i will tell you they lied. they said there were weapons of mass destruction, there were none. they knew there were none." your response? >> um -- he sounds like a liberal democrat to me, brett. >> seth: finally, someone who's not afraid to snarl back at trump. remember, cheney's always gonna have the upper hand. trump only claims he can shoot someone and get away with it. cheney did it. [ laughter ] so it will be interesting to see how gop voters respond to this debate over the bush legacy, but trump hasn't only been critical of bush'h'handling of the iraqaq war, he also has his own well-thought out plan for fighting terrorism. >> i would bomb the [ bleep ] out of 'em. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, my god. [ applause ] we'll be right back with more "l"le night." [ cheers and applausus] life as spokesbox is great. people love me for saving them over half a grand when they switch to progressive. so i'm dababing in new ventures.s. it wasoard-game night with the dalai lama. great guy. terrible playe go paperless don't
president bush and his team of purposely lying the cocotry into war in iraq, saying, "i will tell you they lied. they said there were weapons of mass destruction, there were none. they knew there were none." your response? >> um -- he sounds like a liberal democrat to me, brett. >> seth: finally, someone who's not afraid to snarl back at trump. remember, cheney's always gonna have the upper hand. trump only claims he can shoot someone and get away with it. cheney did it. [...
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Feb 12, 2016
02/16
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already has like five tunnels. [ laughter ] he is known to use tunnels to escape. [ laughter ] therein lies the joke. [ laughter ] every now and then, you want to put it in an explainer. a team of physicists today claim that they have -- that they have captured the sound of two black holes colliding one billion light years away. let's take a listen. hello [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: twin sisters in new jersey this week gave birth to baby girls just minutes apart from each other. [ nervous laughter ] "that's weird," said one of their boyfriends. [ laughter ] a recent study shows that almost 50 people have died since 2014 while attempting to take selfies. it's a surprising number that many people are calling too low. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and finally, new photos have revealed that kim jong-un is a mac user -- oh, sorry, i left out a word. kim jong-un is a big mac user. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] from the new film, "the meddler," academy award winner susan sarandon is in the house tonight. [ cheers and ap
already has like five tunnels. [ laughter ] he is known to use tunnels to escape. [ laughter ] therein lies the joke. [ laughter ] every now and then, you want to put it in an explainer. a team of physicists today claim that they have -- that they have captured the sound of two black holes colliding one billion light years away. let's take a listen. hello [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: twin sisters in new jersey this week gave birth to baby girls just minutes apart from each other. [...